And the lead detox begins

I had a dream one night, soon after the earthquake in Japan, while I was still on Salt Spring Island BC. My bed was spinning, and I thought, "maybe I'm in an earthquake," but too tired to get up and since the roof hadn't collapsed on me yet, I figured maybe I was wrong, and went back to bed. Ironically, my best friend on the island who has the same illness had the exact same dream that night. I'm actually more amazed that I didn't try to get up during that dream and run out of the cabin!

There's a famous, quite insightful book, "It was on Fire When I Lay Down on It," by Robert Fulgham. From the '70s or '80s. I believe the title infers that we get our keep ourselves in trouble even when we know what's best for us.

My aforementioned friend, in the past year, has worked in a drycleaning place, painted peoples' houses for money, and sometimes uses immensely toxic cleaning solutions for her apartment. I love her, and I keep reminding her why she's not getting better when she wonders why she feels so awful, her body swollen and wracked with pain, but I can't get her to see the light. Of course, sometimes the load of toxins affecting us greatly cloud our brain, so this may be her problem, but I wish I could do something. Sometimes the toxic load is so bad, we even self-sabotage. Some of us try to prove how strong we "really" are and keep submitting ourselves to such tings. But for all of us, avoidance is key.

When I've hung around her too long and she tries to convince me that my MCS may be in my head and that I can just "acclimatize" myself to toxins, that's when I leave! Or hang up the phone! And this week, I proudly announce that I took charge. Now that all my mercury fillings have been removed, I began my lead-detox (my lead levels are right off the chart when I did the standard urine challenge test) with EDTA-chelation IVs with a holistic MD. With the Vitamin C IV that comes right after, it will come to about $200 a week and I may need a couple dozen.

But as many MCS'rs, I have heavy metal poisoning and can't sit back. My cognitive functioning already felt a bit better yesterday afternoon. Hopefully my energy will improve also. Everyone else I've met whose done these has had great success. It may even help my MCS--in great anticipation, I await. It's been ten years since I began removing my mercury fillings so that the day would come when I could do this.

It's difficult with this illness to not simply give up, but if you have mercury fillings, don't wait; summon up all the few common-sense neurons you may have left--remove the fillings now--with a dentist whose specially trained in the area. There's a protocol of how to do it and supplements to take before and after each one. Don't do it any other way. Then, do a urine test for heavy metals, and let your life begin. Don't continue to sleep on the bed while it's on fire.

Winter's coming and....

Yes, winter's coming. It's almost here again. You can see it in the trees swaying haplessly in the gusty winds, the branches almost bare, but thankfully not in the frost. Not yet, anyway. And it will soon be time to turn on the heat, so I may last in T.O. for just one more month. With most buildings either offering just carpeting or laminate flooring--or engineered with the plywood underneath--I don't want to risk more "head lock" so my choice seems to be once again checking out rentals in Hawaii. Somebody's got to do it!

I'm kinda sick of moving around, but hey, there may be a good yoga teacher training (YTT) I can do while I'm there! Seemed to be one, in Honolulu. And, if I can find a cheaper rental with a lanai that I can pull a mattress onto and sleep at night as I did last time which helped me alot, I just may give my brain a long relaxing holiday. And more recovery. Would be verrry nice. Wish me luck and stay tuned...

Brain Food

Aside from doing the DNR every day for my brain, I've decided to focus on nutrition that will fix it too. Ironically, one of the authors in my yoga book gave me a book called "Brain Nutrition" -- or something like that -- a few years ago, but I'm a slow learner and didn't follow it! Now, I'm eating solely for my brain. Everything that goes in my mouth--food or vitamin--is geared toward helping the blood flow and giving food for both the neurotransmitters and the myelin of my brain. Plus, of course, the diet must be alkaline.

This includes mung beans, which are apparently the highest protein bean, hemp seeds which make me feel much more grounded after I eat them, and steamed chard before bed--the chard alkalizes my blood and brain and I feel much more grounded when I wake up, and this seems to be key to everything.

Then there's fish oil pills, not eating sugars and not eating wheat (which seems to reduce my stamina and muscles flexibility by 10X by the way!), and amino acid pills to help maintain and build the neurotransmitters.

And, now I'm onto lecithin and phosphatidyl serine as well. Plus, an amazing ayruvedic goopy liquid that goes into my morning hemp protein drink, and I can't remember the name! But it's supposed to remove heavy metals from the brain and I can think much better when I'm on it.

Last but not least, there's my urine shots and chlorophyll enemas! Other than the chard and the goopy stuff and the phosphitydal serine, they seem to do more than anything for returning my brain and pulling me out of my otherwise foggy, loopy, dissociated state!

Urine shots and more LP!

I'm doing the LP daily now. I had to since I REALLY have to get healthy, and I've been getting worse. Mind you, the urine shots have immensely helped my memory short term; I just have to do a few more weeks of them.

Living in another toxic place while trying to heal isn't much of a good test, so the urine shots and everything else may work much better once I'm outta here! It's a place on the water and it's BEAUTIFUL and I just wanted something nice for once. But it was renovated 3 years ago, and the neighbours informed me it's always being renovated so something has been done more recently than I was told.

So I'm looking for another place but have found a way to make the LP more fun so that I actually do it daily--I've turned it into a kind of mind-movie thing and it's so much better that I'm actually sticking with it. So far my sense of smell is returning--and I haven't had one my whole life, so that's fascinating!

Anyways, my head feels like it's crushing in right now and my teeth feel like they're pushing up into my jaw, so I have to go do my weekly urine shot (you can learn more at William Hitt Centre's website) and go for a walk.

I'm finishing editing my book (at www.yogastories.net), printing it in a couple weeks then hopefully I'm off to warmer climes to sleep with windows open!

Oh, and I bought a small Biomat which helps my brain asap for a few hours! I use it every morning since it gets rid of the crushing feeling in my head too. It puts out infrared rays so it's like a little sauna in a mat!

Role of the SYMPATHETIC and PARASYMPATHETIC nervous systems

Some psychologists, shrinks and doctors feel we GAVE ourselves this condition, but I and many others, including reputable doctors, know we didn't; rather that once the MCS condition has incurred (due eg. perhaps to chemicals, mold, candida, leaky dental fillings, pesticides etc.) our blood brain barrier weakens (ie. bonds between ganglion cells) and now chemicals can enter the brain. the mind has a role in perpetuating the condition due to the fear caused and the cortisol pattern set up by a constant fight or flight response.

Here's how I believe this works...

As a person who studied medicine for years (veterinary medicine), I have furthered this theory to simplify it down to the nervous system: We are either predominantly using our SNS or Sympathetic Nervous System (where cortisol is released by the adrenals in response to inhaled chemicals or just our fear or stress), or the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) whereby the cortisol goes way down and healthy hormones increase.

Healing the blood-brain barrier is said to be done with certain supplements and detoxing, but if we stil have a broken record of negative thoughts in our mind, these will affect the central headquarters (the Brain) so this emotional component--leading to flight or flight mode-- must be halted or prevented. Otherwise, the headquarters sends a messagek to the adrenals to produce cortisol whereby we poison ourselves! I've found that doing The DNR Process is much quicker than supplements--our cortisol isn't released as much and the brain begins to heal.

Doing The Process--which isn't simply positive thinking--shifts our thoughts onto a different track where we've eliminated fear-based thinking. After doing "enough" of these mental exercises, I believe we hit a threshold where we suddenly shift over into PNS mode and OUT of SNS predominance, then our cortisol dives, our hormones and blood vessel dilation change drastically, as does the permeability of our blood brain barrier; all these have been scientifically shown to happen when cortisol decreases.

Then we can not only think much better but we don't react to chemicals as much as our blood brain barrier is less porous. I get these results and I'm still working towards being totally well, but the journey is leading that way.

I, like others, may have been more "susceptible" to MCS due to growing up in a highly stressful family environment which lowered my immune and nervous system to begin with or perhaps shut off genes which code for detoxification enzymes.

So, while brain repatterning is happening in the background and is primary in The Process, the all-important parallel key I believe, to sustain the changes is the SHIFT from the predominance of the use of our Sympathetic to our Parasympathetic Nervous System.

The Brain and MCS

Toxicity can come in two forms: Environmental and Emotional. Sometimes an apple's just an apple (as Carolyn Myss says) and a huge toxic hit from pesticides or mold,or diet, etc. will just throw our whole system off. But because we live in a world of non-duality, ying yang, balance, shades of grey, and because our nervous and immune systems are so linked with our emotions, we can hamper the functioning our these systems by how we respond to our lives--a response which isn't always within our control, especially if we're children. Balance is everything in life.

So first, the emotional effect: I grew up in a family with an alcoholic parent which created a huge stress on my mind and body, and I know of many MCSrs who grew up in such a situation. I believe these years significantly lowered our immune system and raised our sympathetic nervous systems to a new high. This isn't to say that the pesticide poisoning I incurred when it was sprayed in our house annually --or the Hg leaking from my fillings--wouldn't have done me in anyways; it's just that the mental abuse and consistent fear I lived in may have weakened my body significantly enough to throw it over the edge in terms of it being so worn out already that the toxins were just the straw to break the camel's back. And it continues to keep me in a state of non-health unless I balance it out somehow to give my body a winning chance.

Toxins affect the amygdala of the brain--the anxiety center--and actually cause the release of more cortisol (stress hormone). Cortisol then allows not only for greater permeability of the cells which then allow more toxins in, but also as cortisol increases we actually create more cortisol receptors on the cells which results in a vicious cycle making us more susceptible to toxins and the chain reaction continues. The cortisol also plays with our blood sugar levels giving us more brain fog which creates an additional vicious cycle.

Brain repatterning cuts short the CORTISOL we constantly release from our habitual negative thoughts, switching it to good hormones. From my experience, I think we react to cortisol as much as we do to toxins, as may also be explained scientifically as the amygdala of the brain when it reacts to toxins puts out cortisol-- and then we get a reaction to our surroundings. Doesn't seem like a coincidence, does it?

I realized I could offset the cortisol's effect in me when I meditated for long periods (eg. 45 min at a time), I could think *much* better and felt a significant shift; my doing slow yoga with deep breathing, and reiki, would result in the same. Cortisol is so toxic to the functioning of our brain that it actually seems to account for half of my symptoms and as I'm a biological being the same as everyone else, others react to cortisol just as I do.

What's worse, and has been proven too, is that cortisol also fluctuates with the Circadium Rhythm; if we don't go to bed by 11pm, the cortisol in our bloodstream actually triples hitting its peak by around 2am instead of around 6 when we're actually supposed to wake up. When it triples by 2, it cuts short the melatonin and Human Growth Hormone we'd produce and which is vital for our health and proper aging. And, I often go to bed by 2am, but when I go by 11am I can think much better the next day.

Now, eliminate the stress via Dynamic Neural Retraining (DNR), yoga, reiki, meditation, etc., reduce the level of cortisol immediately and one can think much more clearly--basically by reducing cortisol and increasing the feel-good hormones in the body which include oxytocin, HGH, etc.

Because most people's brains are so hardwired for stress (aka. cortisol) and because our subconcious mind continues on its negative mind patterns of thinking without us even being aware of it, and because DNR conciously works to unwire this, an extra powerful response occurs where I find myself yawning continuously (continuous reduction of cortisol and increase of the parasympathetic nervous system's good hormonoes) and I find I react less to the environment (the cells are less permeable because they're less awash in cortisol which increases their permeability!).

I once had a doctor in Toronto who told me to just meditate to reduce half my symptoms, and that made me quite infuriated, because sometimes I'm just so wired from the toxins that I can't calm down enough to meditate! But there are other things I can more easily do when wired andn they include DNR, yoga, reiki, etc., and then I feel so much better, that I just meditate after because I love it!

Also, I thought he was denying my illness, but he wasn't; he just knew the biological implications of cortisol. Now, if he'd just explained the biological reasoning behind it all, I may have actually done more of this years ago!

Of course, we must not ignore offsetting the phyisical toxic load we've accumulated and how they affect the mind as well--especially if we have heavy metal or other major poisoning--both from environmental toxins and ones accumulated from years of improper elimination and bad diet. Going on an alkaline diet, plus using low heat (eg. 100F) infrared saunas regularly followed by colonics or enemas (the major toxins harbouring in MCSrs are plugging up their livers which need to be relieved). Dr. Walter Crinnion, of the Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine , in Arizona, has proven this for several years and has helped many MCSrs.

The great thing is that *while* we're detoxing our bodies these and other ways, we can have great relief in just *minutes* by detoxing our minds by "flipping" the switch from negative thoughts and images to positive ones, or on one of the scientific levels that's easiest to explain but not the entire answer: from our sympathetic to parasympathetic nervous system. While DNR seems to quickest and easiest to do and targets our thoughts specifically , when we use other simple techniques above that relax us (yoga, reiki, etc.) and thus balance out our hormones and increase the energy flowing through our meridians, our perception shifts radically and rapidly and we then see things in a healthier light. I haven't found my MCS symptoms reduces rapidly with these as with DNR, but I feel much more energetic and whole from using them.

Not only do our past and present circumstances bother us less or not at all when we do all of these methods, but we then create *less* cortisol as we begin to heal ourselves through the power of our mind stimulating our body's inherent, stunning pharmacopea within. And, who knows, our cellular detox pathways may follow suit, and speed up as well!

The trip to Hawaii...and aromatherapy

Yes, I finally went to Hawaii (Maui)! First the bad, then the good!...rented a room (via Craigslist) in a beautiful house that was described as having a room that opened to the outside via its own entrance (true), but what I was told about no recent renovations other than a stairwell being painted inside their part of the house (false!).

When I had major brain seizures the first night athough all my windows were open (it's around 70 at night there), I didn't know why. The room did have laminate flooring, and the landlady said the previous renter had MCS and had done splendidly there!

But when I went to borrow the phone the next day and her husband let me into the main part of their mansion to get it, I saw that the ENTIRE inside of their home had been gutted, and was being sanded, drywalled and painted!!!!!

The loft windows in the attic part of my room opened to the inside of the house via "plastic windows" and a bit of plywood, and vapours were gassing off into my room!!!!! (As we know, vapours can come through walls too).

Great, huh?

After a few days (and I spent some sleeping on the deck) he patched up the windows for me (from the inside of his part of the house) with more plywood, and agreed to stop sawing and painting till I left, but the damage had already been done and I was a basketcase much of my time there. Actually, I would have kept just sleeping outside had the beautiful jungle birds not began charting their territory each morning at about 5m!
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My saviour was finding MAUI SPA RETREAT based out of a huge "home" and a separate cottage (where I stayed--The Octagon) and is also part of The Aromatherapy Foundation of Maui) where I escaped for at least a couple nights and, because the owner, Doreena, cured me of my frostbite last year--long story but I got it on the top of the mountain on the Big Island while taking photos!--I thought maybe she could help me with my brain and aromatherapy! Which she actually did!

She gave me a special tincture with lavendar and some other stuff in it and I just put a few drops behind my ears, and in half an hour I could think MUCH better! I've been doing it for 3 weeks now (I dont' sniff it but just put it back there!) and EVERYONE i know says I'm much more focused! Which is true; very weird!

Yes, the whole thing may seem like an oxymoron, but aromatherapies are natural and the right ones, when individualized, can provide necessary factors we're lacking just like fish oils can (eg. to help the parasympathetic nervous system). Given the right ones for our individual consituency, and it's like the right key into the right lock.

And I have a couple other aromatherapy remedies from her for my candida. She grows lavender on the grounds there and the lavender water she gave me to spray on the bottoms of my feet has created incredible dreams at night (usually I have nightmares so the good dreams were quite a relief!).

Even my sense of smell started returning (well, until I returned to BC and got an awful flu and cold!).

I think she has saved a large chunk of my life since at least I can think now, but my MCS still exists, and Annie's process (that she healed herself with) seems to be the ONLY thing so far that stops my reactions--other things may make me feel better in the moment--ie. feeling more present and grounded, more together and less spacey--but haven't stopped my reactivity to the environment.

The next blog will describe the nature/nurture aspect of how I think the brain's involved in MCS, gleaned both from my experience with it and years of studying university science, including at the medical level.